Get Off My Lawn

I can't tell if he's laughing or crying.

Red Sled Toboggan Head

I was eight. I woke up to find a red plastic snow sled under the tree, shaped like a boat, with thick white handles on the sides. It was too big to wrap but it might have had a bow on it. I picked it up and placed it over my head and walked around our hovel of an apartment until I could go outside and hit the hill behind our building.

Doug, a kid who was in the same grade as me, ran over his little brother’s head while tobogganing down the hill. I mean he full on mashed the little guy’s head into the snow as he was barrelling down the hill. The brother popped up screaming bloody Mary and ran home to tell his parents. To that point in my life it was perhaps one of the most awesome events I had witnessed.

It was a magical, merry Christmas.

Categories: Humour

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28 replies

  1. I’ll pretend my pediatrician eyes didn’t see that…

    Liked by 3 people

  2. All this consternation. It’s not like he was on cement. It was snow, which I’m sure formed a gentle pillow that encased and protected his head from any trauma.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly. And any eight year old boy, even today, would find this an amazing, giggle inducing sight. And also the kid had been bitching and moaning for an hour previous so I’m sure this helped inspire his brother to strategically alter the course of his sled.

      Like

  3. Five years ago, I took the kids sledding in Flagstaff, and on my last run of the day…on my way to the car, on what wasn’t even a slope, I crashed into a frozen block if ice and broke my ankle in eight places. I haven’t been near snow since. Fuck snow.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You must have been a horrible kid like me!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Snow is great, it prevents serious head injuries.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Awww…you were all boy, weren’t you! ( One of three sisters, no brothers – will have to live vicariously through your stories)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve never had such a merry Christmas!! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Why does it have to be so VIOLENT for you guys?

    Liked by 1 person

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