Get Off My Lawn

I can't tell if he's laughing or crying.

Disney Has Everything


I’m not sure if there is a more accurate or all-encompassing benchmark to measure the quantity and and quality of all I did not have than a visit to the Disney Store. We went to West Edmonton Mall on Monday. This place is massive, sporting a water park, amusement park, mini-golf, just about every chain restaurant known to man, and, of course, a Disney Store.

It seemed to have everything from tiny, intricately detailed figures from the movie Frozen, to pyjamas from Cars, to R2D2 waste paper baskets, to full-on Spider Man costumes complete with muscles and everything. I knew the store would have a plethora of items but I was astonished at the quality, imagination, and ingenuity that have gone into the manufacturing of all these toys and paraphernalia solely dedicated to the child.

When examined through the Mickey-Mouse-coloured goggles, my childhood was a barren wasteland. I don’t begrudge kids anything that they might get from this store; I’m much more inclined to astonishment at seeing so many items that I had never concieved of, or knew were possible. The gulf between what was available and what was affordable 30-40 years ago and what is actually available, and somewhat affordable, today is stupifying.

My brother and I had a dart board when I was 10 and he was 7. We played some darts for sure, but mostly we threw the darts at each other. Not the face (we weren’t animals), but the lower body was completely in bounds. In fact whatever we had we weaponized because a paddle with rubber ball attached by an elastic is lame. But a ball and a paddle used as weapons was kind of fun.

Maybe Disney is onto something. Peace among siblings through a higher quality of toy. Who knows how different my life would have been if I was able to play with a Mickey Mouse fireman set? And where is the ceiling? That’s what I really want to know. How sophisticated will marketing get? How much industry will be supported by the child consumer dollar, and how specialized will it become?

I know I should, on some level, be concerned about all this blatant marketing and consumerism that sort of goes against the Christmas spirit. But, honestly, all I wanted to do was turn myself 10 again and spend some serious money buying, and then playing with, just about everything in that small spot of magic in the mall.

Categories: Humour

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59 replies

  1. Onya John, no shame in not having completely lost touch with that little boy inside. Champion!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can promise you that cool Disney costumes do not create peace among siblings. In FACT, it creates new ways to beat the crap out of each other. Rapunzel used a frying pan as a weapon after all…

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I have had similar thoughts when purchasing toys for my son. He has a birthday Monday and then Christmas so it is kind of a lot all at once. I did get him the retro Rock em Sock em Robots for his birthday, though. He asked for a spinach artichoke pizza and salad for his birthday dinner….what a weirdo!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I always say, Disney can’t be outdone. Everything they do comes with bells and whistles. And I love every bit of it. Well, except for the princesses. That concept just annoys me…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I too am staggered by what’s available today, and not just toys. I think being able to be impressed and awed is a *good* thing because it means you’re not jaded and can appreciate things. I’m not certain that kids awash in the land-o-plenty will feel that way. And having all that stuff won’t necessarily keep them from preferring the cardboard box it came in, or losing interest in a $39.99 toy in a week.

    I don’t *recommend* deprivation and/or paucity but there is something to be said for learning to be creative and getting good at entertaining yourself when you’re a kid.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hmmmm, me shudder to think of you in Elsa’s costume singing THAT song from Frozen……

    Liked by 2 people

  7. For the discerning child almost anything has been available.
    Remember Supercar? Fireball XL5? How about Lost in Space? A friend had the Robot. Not a 24″ model. A full sized Robot. I’m not quite sure how long he had it, how much he picked it up for, or what he sold it for.
    He had it. I didn’t. If I had asked for it as a child, I wouldn’t be here now.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dear Lord…did you sell a kidney before you went to finance the trip?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Loved the perspective on this post! Hilarious, really! Introspective sort of, thinking back at what we considered toys. I liked how simple things were back then…..oh well…..

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Yeah, mine too. I guess kids today have been prepped from toddlerhood to not have their brains melt. Btw, I’m trying to follow your blog and haven’t found a link to do so….


    • At the top of every site there is a small menu bar. The “follow” option should be right there. By the “like” option. If you are reading this in your “reader” the “follow” option should be right by my grvatar/picture. I do have a button located at the bottom of the post after all the comments that gives the option to follow me but that is for getting my posts in email.


    • Or if you click on my picture a “follow” option should appear.


  11. I can assure you that you do not need to be 10 to enjoy toys. However when you purchase said toys it helps if you claim they are for a 10 year old or you will get strange looks!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Never cross the mouse, He owns it all!

    Liked by 1 person

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