Get Off My Lawn

I can't tell if he's laughing or crying.

Personification: My Bladder

So I’m at the stage in my life where I frequently need to ask my bladder, “Do you really need to go pee or do you just think you need to go pee?”

My bladder usually just shrugs and says, “You wanna take that chance?”

Sigh. “You’re turning into a real asshole, bladder, you know that?’

My bladderย stares blankly. “Well, you’re in the right neighbourhood. Wrong house, though.”

None of this was in the brochure.

Categories: Humour

Tags: , ,

42 replies

  1. I think you should write for a health magazine.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m known in our family as the person who has a bladder the size of a pea.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I just say, “F- you, stupid bladder!” And I avoid the bathroom for 6-8 hrs just to show it who’s boss.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ha! After I had a scary incident in the air 36 years ago I have never been in the airplane bathroom (neither had I ever unbuckled my safety belt). My record is an 11 hour flight, and I eat and drink as any other passenger. Last year I grew bold and went to the bathroom just to open the door and have a look if something had changed in that department. Nothing had changed in 35 years, so I quickly returned to my seat and buckled up again. True story ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I have this conversation about one thousand times a day. He never wants to go when I want him to go, but always nags me when I have to go out of my way! Pesky fool!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. When I drank heavily, I seriously thought of having a catheter installed so I wouldn’t have to get off the barstool as often… :/

    Liked by 1 person

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