Get Off My Lawn

I can't tell if he's laughing or crying.

Bear Attack or Self Defense?

Man Attacked by Bear Near Smoky Lake.

That was the headline I read yesterday. Wow. That sounds very scary for the man and also for the people who live in the area.

But then I read the whole story and found myself once again saying WTF!

The bear was minding his business, being a bear, in his home, which is in the woods. And a hunter went to the bear’s home and shot him with a gun. The wounded bear ran away and the hunter ran after him. At this point the bear turned around and IN SELF DEFENSE struck back at the man and likely said something in bear like: “I’m going to fuck you up, you meddlesome bitch!” The bear got on top of the hunter and was winning the fight, biting Elmer Fudd on the head and arms, before the hunter unfortunately got hold of his gun and shot the bear again.

First I'm going to make you my bitch, then I'm going to eat you.

First I’m going to make you my bitch, then I’m going to eat you.

If you hunt legally, then good for you. I guess? But if the animal you’re trying to kill fights back and tries to kill you, then I say good for the animal. This isn’t an attack–it’s self defense. I found it so strange that the media framed the encounter in those terms, like the bear did something wrong. If you’re killed trying to kill an animal in its home, then I say, to a great extent, you went looking for trouble and you found it. Don’t cry. Take your lumps. But to frame this as a “Bear Attack” is really unfair to the bear.

Not such a tough guy without your boom boom stick are you? Asshole.

Not such a tough guy without your boom boom stick are you? Asshole.

I wish bears could learn how to shoot a gun. Then, at least, I would consider this kind of hunting more “sport” than “slaughter.”



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23 replies

  1. Good grief, what’s wrong with people? When you have that answer, please let us know in a blog post. While you’re at it, could you tackle the meaning of life, too? Shouldn’t take you too long. 😉

    (I have to wonder, what did he THINK the bear would do? Jeez.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • hahaha. Geez Carrie. I’ll get back to you in a hundred years on those questions.
      Yes, what is wrong with people? My wife and I were talking about how strange it is for someone to see a creature as majestic as a bear and think “I want to kill that.”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, yes, YES!!! Amen and hallelujah!


  3. Dude, I love your train of thought. This man deserved death more than the bear and I don’t care if I’m wrong for saying so.

    You know what I did yesterday? I stopped my car in the middle of a road to let a skunk cross the street. A skunk….

    Because I see no pleasure in killings animals myself. Sure, I eat meat…I won’t lie. But I would not feel right killing something for no reason at all…like this chump.


  4. Do people eat bears? Why would you want to shoot a bear? Then again, I will always root for the human to survive in this situation, because human. Even if we’re all stupid. But I agree that it’s messed up to frame it as an “attack.” It should have been a cautionary tale to other stupid people.


    • I don’t think people eat bear usually. This guy was a tourist from China so he likely was trophy hunting. And yes, framing this as a “bear attack” was was really misleading and unfair. I thinks beats need better PR.


  5. I love how your bear is vulgar, but uses the word “meddlesome.” He’s like an angry Kelsey Grammer.


  6. I say self-defense. Where can a bear live if not in his natural habitat. The hunter cant be surprised. He was breaking and entering!


  7. I know this is an old post but… even I, who never hunted anything not in the refrigerator, know a *wounded* bear is a *dangerous* bear.

    Now, as you suggest, had the bear come to the man’s home or hotel room and taken a swipe at him first, things might be different.

    Liked by 1 person

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