Get Off My Lawn

I can't tell if he's laughing or crying.

Time Out for Rob Ford

I’m not sure at what point the reaction to Rob Ford’s behaviour passes shocked titillation and becomes angry/saddened outrage. The latest episode in the locomotive of buffoonery that is the Rob Ford re-election campaign is that yet another video has surfaced, showing the Mayor smoking crack in his sister’s basement. Wow, this is some sibling. Most sisters would ask you to watch their kids, lend them money, and be nice to their husbands. But Rob Ford has a sister who lets him come over and smoke crack in her basement. He is truly blessed.

Rob works so hard. I often invite him over for some barbeque, have a few beers, and maybe smoke some crack in my basement.

Rob works so hard. I often invite him over for some barbeque, to have a few beers, and maybe smoke some crack in my basement.

What I don’t quite understand is why he is constantly filmed while smoking crack. At a certain point, maybe before he lights his pipe, he should ask that all recording devices be turned off. After a hard day of drunkery and mysogery, is it too much for a man to ask that he please be able to smoke crack in his sister’s basement in peace?


I’m about to smoke a wagonload of crack and probably threaten to kill someone, swear in Jamaican, and discuss oral sex, so I will ask you kindly to turn the camera off.

Another incident that has come to light is one involving Justin Bieber. Ahh, the meeting of great minds, the perfect Canadian storm of introspective thought and profound analytical acuity. Apparently, while Ford was getting his party on in a club in Toronto, Bieber went up to the Mayor and asked him if he had any crack. The Mayor responded with comical indignation–“WHAT? How dare you?”–and then quickly went into the bathroom, emerging an hour later, appearing to be drunk as a lord, and blustered and fumed at the cheek of Bieber to insult the dignity of the Mayor. Bieber’s father, who also happens to be a drunken idiot, was partying with his son that evening and claims the incident didn’t happen. Since all three sources for this story are basically a public service announcement about the dangers of being batshit crazy, wealthy, unaccountable, with a dash (or a whole bottle) of drugs and alcohol, I’m going to go ahead and believe the funniest/saddest version of this story.


Psst. Where the crack at, yo?

So now Rob Ford is taking time out of his campaign in order to do 30 days of rehab. The cynic in me is pretty sure this is a ploy to curry favour with the voting public, but the scary thing is he doesn’t really need to do this. The man is still popular despite all his shenanigans and may be re-elected. I feel badly for whoever happens to be in rehab with Ford. Could you imagine trying to come to terms with the drug use, drunkenness, and wicked behaviour of Mayor Ford, and instead of consequences you see a man who is fantastically wealthy, a guest on American talk shows, and a popular mayor of Canada’s most populous city. It’s enough to drive a person to drink.



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14 replies

  1. “At a certain point, maybe before he lights his pipe, he should ask that all recording devices be turned off.”—That made me laugh out loud. Common sense, for sure. 😉

    I don’t understand why he’s still popular. What does that say to kids? That apparently it’s okay to do crack and still be a politician, even if it is breaking the law? Very strange. At least he’s going into rehab. Hopefully for the right reasons.


    • Thanks Carrie. His fiscal policies have been really effective. He has kept taxes low and runs the city on or under budget. For a large part of the Toronto populace this is good enough. Imagine what he could do if he wasn’t a club hopping crack addict?


      • I see. Well, I suppose I can see why people would support him then, but still… Hopefully he’ll get the help he needs


      • I just saw that you left a review on Amazon for my excerpt. Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to do that. It’s nice to have some reviews there should I advance further in the contest. I don’t expect to, but the hoping’s always fun. Thanks again!


      • Well it was really my pleasure. I sincerely liked what I read. I hope your book wins and I am looking forward to reading the whole thing. Just promise that if things don’t work out quite the way you want you won’t drown your sorrows in crack. I’d then be forced to write an embarrassing blog post about your behaviour. None of wants that.


      • Haha, yeah, I’ll try to refrain. The worst I’ll do is a beer. Or two…


  2. And I thought Australian politics is laughable…. at least our politicians are just stupid and not stoned or drunk (I think….. or maybe it explains their stupid statements.) I hope he and Beibs get a chance to sort out their differences in Rehab. 🙂


    • I really doubt that rehab is going to help. I mean, why stop? He is not suffering any real consequences. He does make watching the news a far more comical experience than I ever expexted it to be.


  3. But can’t a person who keeps taxes low and runs an efficient government also NOT be a drunken, stoned, buffoon? Is there no one else in Canada who could qualify? Hell, if I were Canadian, I’d run for his job. I’m only addicted to coffee and don’t mind at all if people take pics of me drinking it.


    • That’s what everyone outside of Toronto is saying. And it makes a lot of sense. Canada has had some pretty bad political/financial scandals in the past year. People taking large amounts of money and goods that had no right to take and then lying about it. Our own premiere in Alberta had to resign. Maybe people are looking at a crack smoker and thinking “well at least he’s not stealing from us.” I think the bar may be that low and I think that running for political office in North America has become more about the machine you can build to get you elected and less about the individual running. And then we are shocked when it turns out this person has some pretty glaring character flaws. It’s nice to see you back. 🙂


      • Nice to be over here, John – thank you. Well, I hope that Canadians get their fill of these shenanigans. I mean does anyone care about the message that youth are learning? Bizarre!


      • He should get his crack for free he’s doing such a good job endorsing it. Look kids, if you smoke crack, one day you could grow to be as successful as Rob Ford.


  4. As a Canadian, I got to say that this drama is hilarious. Yes…I find it absolutely hilarious instead of actually caring that we have a crackhead in charge! Or had…anyways! Never knew about the Bieber thing…so this was a great read!


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