Get Off My Lawn

I can't tell if he's laughing or crying.

It’s Too Damn Hot

So it seems my complaining about the cold has been heard, and then some, by the gods, and now they have seen fit to teach me a lesson. The temperature here in frozen Edmonton has finally turned a corner and we have some glorious temps of +10 and sunshine. This is good. But the heat in our building is on full blast. And by our building I mean our two-bedroom apartment. This weekend the temp indoors has been hovering around +26 to +27. We have had to leave our windows open and that helps, but we live across from the air ambulance helipad and when the helicopter is taking off and landing the noise is pretty intense. And to complain seems to be in really bad taste: Old man shakes his fist at air ambulance: “You damn ‘clinging to life victims’ and your need for immediate medical attention are too damn noisy!” Old man shuts balcony door in callous disgust. Yeah, so that isn’t going to happen.

So I called the leasing office and, of course, no one is there. I called the security desk. I was told that maintenance was only on call for the weekend and only come in on weekends for emergencies. I was going to ask, “Is heat stroke an emergency?” But really I wasn’t having heat stroke. I was just uncomfortable.

So this morning I called the leasing  office. Every time I deal with the office it is a different 12-year-old. No, not really 12, but young. The turnover rate must be around 90%. I’m assuming the pay and working conditions must be just a touch north of sugar plantation slave in 1743. I was told the whole building was one giant concrete crock pot and they are working on getting things fixed. I assume this means telling the shirtless, bald, on punishment detail maintenance worker that he can stop shoveling coal into the massive furnaces which I can only assume talk in the voice of a devil, laughing and demanding to be fed.

So, though I could be really annoyed about yet another example of how this building seems to be run by children with no adult supervision, I am grateful. Do you hear that, gods? I said I’m grateful! Spring has arrived and now I look forward to long days and a massive blue sky.

Categories: Humour, Non-Fiction

Tags: , , ,

11 replies

  1. Ugh. I cannot stand an overheated home or office building. Strip naked, man and run around the building. Maybe that will convince them.


  2. Oh my god, John! This is so funny and so well written!! Consider bumping some of your old posts so your newer Cult members – I mean *followers* – would read them?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Get Off My Lawn and commented:

    This encore presentation is brought to you by Colette at Writeinsoul which is a favourite blog of mine.


  4. “Old man shakes his fist at air ambulance:” LOL. Seriously though, why wouldn’t you want to be that neighbor? I’m often tempted to flip off the trains as they go by blaring their whistle as they barrel by every 15 minutes, 100 yards from my house… Okay sometimes I do, but only the ones that feel the need to ‘really’ lay on the horn. Sorry, is my low-brow American showing?

    Liked by 1 person

    • The air ambulance isn’t as bad as a the train because the it is not used that frequently. And the little boy in me does think it’s kind of cool to watch it land and take off. But the noise is pretty bad. The train horn would be awful.


      • My husband would love it too, seeing the air ambulance that is. I consider the train our price of not having neighbors, and you only really hear it when you are outside or have the windows open, and then it mainly sucks when trying to have a conversation or they park a train next to your house. Again though, no neighbors.

        Liked by 1 person

      • And if you ever decided to become a hobo from the 1930’s you’d be all set to ride the rails.

        Liked by 1 person

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